Just like a movie

It is always great to be able and rekindle connections from the past and catch up on what is new and has happened since. Yesterday I was able to do exactly that, yet, this time it was much different compared to any other case.

About six years ago I was on my way from Germany to the US to see my boyfriend at the time. We were going through a bit of a rough time. So things were not too bloomy.
I happened to have a flight booked exactly one day after the terror attacks in London which resulted in the immediate decision to forbid any type of liquids on flights and several other new rules.
I was scheduled to leave from Duesseldorf International airport and was on my way through the security scan when I noticed this very handsome guy right behind me in a very stylish looking suit. It made him stand out from the crowd and certainly caught my attention.
It didn't take long and he initiated a conversation with me telling me that he had just come from London and was on his way to Vegas for a tourism expo. We exchanged a few words until I was ready to proceed after being scanned from top to bottom. I thanked him for the conversation and wished him a wonderful and safe trip to Vegas. Needless to say, the same moment I was saying my Goodbyes I as getting ready to bite myself in my behinds. I really would have, if I could have. What was wrong with me?! He was handsome, seemingly smart, very sweet and sooo handsome!
Interestingly, both of us being German, we were speaking English during the brief conversation.
Coming out of the restrooms I saw him and noticed him looking at me for a moment but it was too late and the plane was getting boarded.

I had been sitting in my seat for about an hour thinking non-stop about what an idiot I was and how I could possibly get back in touch with him. Then I decided to grab a piece of paper and write a note. I used something I had read in Malcom Gladwell's "Tipping Point" about 'connectors', 'sales men' and 'mavens' and turned it into something very original; at least I was proud of it and it had me hopeful that it made this rather childish piece of paper appear less such.
When the flight attendant was walking by I tabbed him carefully on his arm to ask him if he would be so kind and bring this note to the gentleman in business class whose name I didn't have but at least I had somewhat good of a description. How many men are there walking around in a velvet jacket and actually look outstanding in it...
The flight attendant told me that he would see what he could do.

About half an hour later he came back with a note which said "I have to work for a while but I will make sure we will get to talk once I am done".
It took a few hours until the flight attendant came back with him by his side and asked me, if I could follow him to the back of the plane where he had arranged for two seats for us.
From there we talked the whole flight and the entire time I could not help but think about how badly I wanted to kiss that stranger.
We separated and took our original seats when we were getting close to landing. The flight attendant came back to me one more time to bring the care package with tooth paste and other useful items that Kai, that was his name, was willing to pass on to me.

We met again at customs which gave us some additional time together while waiting time but then we definitely had to part ways. It was really weird. There I was with this complete stranger whom I didn't want to take my eyes off and do nothing more but kiss right then and there.
NOTHING though and of course we eventually turned around to each walk our own direction to never meet again.
We did exchange our numbers and email addresses and continued to stay in touch for a while.

After a few months it faded though and soon the emails and phone calls stopped until I would stop thinking about that day all together.
Strangely, once a year he all the sudden would cross my mind and I would go into my email account and pull up his address to send him a note or he would. Surprisingly we would think of one another around the same time each year in spring.
Last year again, I sent an email but this time with no response...

While sitting in front of my office PC yesterday, all the sudden after over a year had gone by without me thinking about him, all the sudden he crossed my mind. So I typed his name into Google and the first two links revealed that he had taken on a new position and lucky enough - the link even held his current  business email address.
I didn't have to invest much time debating whether or not to send him a note and to my surprise within just a few minutes I had a positive response. I just couldn't believe it and it absolutely made my day, turning it from an ordinary day into something special.
We exchanged a few emails until I called him moments later to spend an hour on the phone and catch up on as much as time allowed.
He remembered even a few more details than I did about that day and told me that he was wanting to turn around so badly and kiss me when we were parting at the airport, and that up until today he would think about this when flying places.

We have decided to keep in touch until spring and then see, if he could make a pitstop in Atlanta when on one of his business trip to the US for us to catch up on a chance we both missed years ago. :-)

I am sitting in the cafe downstairs of the complex I live in, hammering words into my computer, drinking some chai latte - yum, yum, and just contemplating life and such again.
Contemplating can be good right? Well, at least every now and then to clear your mind, get back on track and find good ways to appropriately point the finger at someone else to take the blame for something that's clearly your own fault.

Anyway, lets talk about the good stuff. I had a date this morning. That's good or is it? I live in a great area and right across the street from me is an Original Pancake House. I had driven by here a couple of times before moving into my place and always made plans to go. Funny, now that I have been living here for a couple of months in a few steps walking distance today has been the first time for me to go.
It was more a moment of convenience. Why go through the hassle of driving some place to meet a guy when I can have the guy just come meet me here. Who could say no to the Original Pancake House, right?
Also, have you ever experienced that moment after a date when you had gone some way to meet someone, and after the date you get to be in this weird place of being by yourself, driving away with your thoughts, maybe feelings, and you are not quite certain which direction your mind is heading?
I have come to find out you can avoid this weird moment, if you have the guy meet you at your place or pick you up and drop you off again. You get to be in your own four wall again and get to be around the things you are comfortable with, turn on music or the TV, read, give a little bit extra attention to your pet, if you have one...

So big thing on the dating list. Meet some place close to you. Guys have a less emotional way of thinking anyways and usually they have their moment on popular day three after the date or NOT. In this case even better you didn't waste extra time and gas.

Speaking about a dating list; ladies, don't have any guy take you out just for a coffee. It's usually for them to be able to end a date quickly, if you don't meet all their requirements.
They should be willing to invest the time to get to know you a bit better and not just over a 10 minutes coffee talk. Let it at least be breakfast or lunch.
By the way, breakfast or lunch dates are better than you would think. Dinner dates end the day and often can lead to you debating whether to separate once the date is over or not. Breakfast and lunch make this decision for you and you get to avoid this debate entirely.
So yeah, let it be omelette and pancakes a couple of times.

Back to the actual date. He was a little late but he had called about it. Had to help one of his neighbors with a piece of furniture. You just can never ever say NO to your neighbors. So wasn't that nice of him?!
I went ahead and got us a table and for the next two hours we kept asking questions back and forth, telling each others about our lives, played with our very polite and friendly server; though at times I was getting confused. Despite the fact that he kept complimenting me I felt like he was flirting with my date. Hmmm.
Well, I guess a good test to see whether your date maybe also fishes in other ponds. You never know anymore these days.
Date went well, the conversation was great and fluent without any awkward moments. If that doesn't make for two gummy points on the track list!
He had to rush out because he had to be at church at a certain time and I felt a bit bad because it looked as if he was going to be late.
Meanwhile, that makes another gummy point on the track list. You know it went half way well when one of you is about to miss an appointment or be late for something else following the date.
He called right after we had said bye while still being on the road to his appointment and we talked a bit while I was situating myself in the comfort of my home, right across the street from the crepes with strawberries I had just drowned in my stomach.

For the record: three gummy points.

Let me introduce myself

Let me fill you in a little bit on who I am. I am almost 30 years old, lead a good life, have fun, do good things, am active and sane. I am foreign and have found myself a home in the gorgeous city of Atlanta.


I had been married for two years but it apparently was not meant to be and luckily we found out sooner than later.


After my marriage I put myself out there and started dating like crazy with one date lined up after another for three weeks straight. Gosh, anyone ever noticed how exhausting that can be? Getting ready, putting the glam look on every night just to find out that you have wasted hours preparing for a mental or emotional nutshell?


So, considering I had always been in long relationships I decided I should more focus on FUN. I just met guys here and there and explored my sexual nature. I didn't end up with tons of guys but believe me, I gained plenty of experience and can show off a folio filled with personal trainers, the married guy, the business traveler and even an exotic dancer and about to be porn star.


That phase was followed by a seven month relationship with a director which was oh so great in the beginning until he was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and on advise of his doc we separated, means he removed himself from me.


For a few months I have been dating now here and there without nothing serious in the making, except for this one guy.
Great looks, smart, good job, son and beautiful in his ways. Sounds like the perfect catch, if there hadn't been this psychologist been involved whom he forgot to mention, even after  I had told him about my previous experiences.
Well, doesn't take much to guess but of course the psychologist advised him not to be dating at this time.


Now my dating questionnaire needs to be extended by the question, whether or not the guy comes in a packaged deal with a psychologist, it appears.
Only, even when you say it in a funny way it leads guys to think I am dragging along baggage while I am thinking I have grown to be smarter for the future.


I am an active member on match.com and have no problems making this public. Match.com is kind of an interesting platform as I know from my wilder months that many of match.com members also have very active profiles up on a different type of adult website. 
This alone reduces your serious dating pool by 1/3. If you are actually looking for someone who leads an active and meaningful life you can expect another reduction because many of those candidates use match.com to quickly get to know someone, yet, they struggle to actually make time to REALLY get to know someone.


Interestingly I came across this article from last year in which the author claims Atlanta to be THE best city in the US to get to know men. Unfortunately  it does not say much about the level of connection. The list of best places to meet men contains a whole bunch of fancy hotel bars. 
So you can meet men there but chances are they are not even from town, also mentioning Atlanta has a huge gay community, in addition many great men who often are married or in other ways attached, plenty of men who love to say how laid back they are; 'laid back' by the way, is not normally what you hear women say. I don't know, if that is a genetic thing and what does 'laid back' even really mean? Does it mean you are good holding a can of beer in one had while hanging on the couch and scratching your jewels? Seriously, what is it? 


Had to google it real quick as I was getting really curious for a second. Here it is:
"When a person gets stuff done....... ..... ..... eventually.... .... they are laid back. Someone who is constantly relaxed, and refuses to argue over something that isn't important unless they admit that it isn't important- in that case they'll have a nice, relaxed, argument. Someone who is laid back will never pick a fight, and is never stuck up."
Doesn't it have looser written all over??? 


Interestingly the article resonated in a tremendous response and find yourself a seat! The majority of people mentioned exactly all of those points I have just summarized for you.


Now, I have to admit that me going to gay bars, where I love to hang out to peoplewatch and enjoy my friends' company do, doesn't increase my chances, does it.


Nonetheless, what happened to the good old bumping into someone, sharing eye contact, a moment, just the two of us, him and I? Accidental moments in which you meet that someone. What has happened to the arrows that hit two people at the same time?


It appears as if Cupido is out of office or was run over by one of those really laid back guys that just don't do well with decision making, not even with an arrow in their chest or butt cheek. 




Going forward I will share episodes of my dating life, resolutions, improvements and setbacks. I hope I can help a bit, give some advise, be advised and help you and myself find the humor in the interaction with the specimen man. Enjoy!